Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Borrowing Strength...

I keep a little book by my bed titled, "Daily Reflections for Highly Effective People".  Today's first line is "Borrowing strength builds weakness."  Seems like a robbing Peter to pay Paul type of theory.  I sort of feel that way these days.  Do I take hours from the end of my day to study and got to bed really late or do I go to bed a little earlier and get up earlier.  I think for me right now the outcome is the same and until the bar exam is over in 40 days there is no alternative.

I do think in our daily lives we need to focus on not taking from Peter to pay Paul in all areas.  Taking our strength from one area of our lives for another results in weakness all around.  Rather strengthen yourself in all areas to best persevere.

I am failing a bit at my New Year's resolutions as I was determined to blog everyday and as the bar rapidly approaches that is not happening.  I will continue to work on the person I am and want to be however.  Today I am happy and content that my life is headed in a good direction.  I am moving forward and upward and I intend to stay that way.

Here's a great closing thought:

The mind is everything. What you think you become.  –Buddha

Think yourself wonderful!

Monday, January 12, 2015

Tell me I Can't....

Today's Barbri quote is "You want me to do something...Tell me I can't do it."  From the eloquent, articulate and amazing Maya Angelou.  I have been a fan of Ms. Angelou's since high school.  She was such an amazing write.  Her poem "Phenomenal Woman" rings in my ears constantly.  "I'm a woman. Phenomenally. Phenomenal woman.  That's me."

Today I will work harder than anything to be that phenomenal woman but I believe that the whole premise of her poem is that each of us is phenomenal simply for being ourselves.  For the way we care for the people around us, for the way we give of ourselves, for the way we fight everyday for the next day to be better.  That makes each of us a Phenomenal Woman.

How are you phenomenal?

If you aren't sure watch this amazing video....

We should all be screaming I'm Enough!

Saturday, January 10, 2015

A mule into a horse....

"She would be a new person, she vowed. They said no matter how far a mule travels it can never come back a horse, but she would show them all."

Transformation. The quote on the Barbri page today is "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you." coupled with the above quote from my journal.  Hmmmmm are the cosmos trying to tell me something??  Its all about transformation.  Like a caterpillar turning into an elegant butterfly I will transform myself.  I will turn into the person I want to be, not the person my circumstances have made me.  I am constantly working towards a better place, a better existence, a better me.  I hope I continue on this path.

44 days until the bar exam.. I am actually reassured by my progress and results.  I did very well in Federal Civil Procedure, one less topic I have to focus hard on.  Always a silver lining right?

If you have a quote about change or an anecdote to help my change please feel free to share!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Can I Have a Do Over Please...

"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead

I love this quote.  This is perfect.  I was, shall we say, sheltered and "well behaved" through my high school years.  As I look back I feel as though I didn't do most of my living until college and I regret that to a degree.  So today I am working on living each day, good or bad.  I want to have no regrets in how I parent, the relationships I have or any other aspect of my life.  If I want something from a relationship, either platonic or romantic, I need to voice that want.  I want the people around me to know that they can do the same with me.  If you need something or want something I can provide, simply ask.

47 days until the bar exam....

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Until tomorrow...

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

From the Mouths of Babes...

So I asked my 13 year old son how he interpreted my closing quote from yesterday about conversations that matter.  He said, "Don't talk about small stuff, talk about big stuff." Reminds me not gossip, not to be petty and to focus on the important things in life: family, friends, good health and a sound mind.  These are likely the most valuable possessions I have.  So today I am working on starting big conversations.  I am also working on truly valuing what matters.  As I stood at an even for my son tonight I was reminded how large our support system is and I am so unbelievably thankful.  From the 18 year old soon to be Eagle, to the 30-something moms and dads to the 13 year old troop guides, they work as a team and support each member like they are family.  I couldn't ask for anymore than that.

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What are you working on today??

Monday, January 5, 2015

Not my circus...

"Even though you get the monkey off your back, the circus never really leaves town." - Anne Lamont

This is the quote in my journal for today.  How appropriate as I return to work on what I know is going to be a hell week after the holidays!!  This reminds me of a quote one my coworkers says often..."Not my monkeys, Not my circus." Kind of like the "Not it!" game we all played as kids.  The problem becomes adults who play this game and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.  Today I am working on making sure I take responsibility for my actions and setting an example for others to do the same.  I recently had a situation at work where someone made a HUGE mistake in a file, instructing a client to do something way wrong because they failed to read a correspondence in its entirety.  This problem fell in my lap while the offending employee was out on vacation and it has festered for over a week now.  Today I actually had to deal with the police over this matter.  And yet the original offender blames everyone around her in an effort to shield herself from trouble.  This is very difficult to allow to roll off my back.  I feel she needs to step up, admit she erred and do whatever humanly possible to correct the matter.  So in addition to working on facing my own responsibilities I will continue to work on not taking personally things that are beyond my control.

49 days until the bar exam!!!

"Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters."  Have any good convo starters??

Sunday, January 4, 2015

A Girl and A Gun...

Today I am working on making a new life and maybe some new friends.  Today I went shooting with a group that I've never met.  Not only was this outside my comfort range in the social context but to go shooting basically alone was big for me.  Shooting is a hobby I have enjoyed for a long time but always with other people to lean on.  While I knew there would be people to help me if I needed it, I didn't know any of them and I was very  nervous about looking silly.  It was a wonderful experience.  The women I met were fantastic and so empowered, it was amazing.  I cant wait for my next opportunity to shoot with them.

50 days until the bar exam...

Still working on patience as well which I severely lack.  My family has faced some rather trying events in the last few months and my patience in handling them could use some work.  I struggle with living under my parents' roof again...a place I haven't lived since I was 18.  I struggle with the boundaries and the level of respect we all owe each other.  I know its only for a short time while I get through the bar exam so I am doing my best in managing my emotions.

I think today's daily quote is perfect:

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Off I go to conquer myself!

RIP Belinda...

Today was a sad day.  Today I watched my best friend since grammer school say goodbye to her mother in law.  A woman who has been a role model for her son, a confidante to my friend and Gram to my friend's daughter who is only 4.  Her family hit home with a story of her 4 year old granddaughter who embodies the very life this woman lived.  Her granddaughter recently said to someone, "You can do it, you just have to try harder." I think that is what we all need to do.  Try harder to be patient, try harder to be accepting, try harder to be loving and most importantly try harder to be the best version of ourselves we can be.

In thinking about this wonderful woman today I am working on being more patient.  Good things are worth waiting for right?  Patience has never been one of strong suits but I am working on being a more patient version of myself.

As I continue on my journey to work on the person I am, to be the best version of myself, I am reminded of Dr. Seuss' book Oh The Places You'll Go.  The last line of the story says "Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!" I look forward to the mountains.

RIP Belinda, youve left a wonderful legacy in your family and you will live on through them.

My quote of the day is "Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be."

Friday, January 2, 2015


"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy." - Issac Newton

This is my mantra for work.  Listen, I love that I have a job.  I love that I have a job that offers health insurance at a somewhat reasonable price, offers a 401(k), has paid time off and is in a relatively comfortable environment.  What I don't really love is the drama that expounds.  So today I am working on changing the lens through which I see the world, particularly the world I work in.  I am also working on not taking personally things that happen at work that are beyond my control.  I need to learn how to let things slide off my back.

I have 52 days until the bar exam.  My day wasn't all that bad actually.  Its a been a bit quiet and boring but I know that is all going to change come Tuesday so I am trying to enjoy the peace while I can.  If anyone has suggestions for good music to listen to at work, like good iHeart radio stations or good albums from iTunes I am very interested.  I spend about 7 hours a day with ear buds in so anything new would be welcome.

I will leave you with the quote of the day:

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Thursday, January 1, 2015

I'm Doing My Best...

So this year I have decided to keep a journal and to blog what I write.  I am definitely not a writer per se but I am (almost) a lawyer so writing is something I do a lot.  I have graduated from law school and am working on preparing for the bar exam.  Nothing is more rewarding than attaining life goals but I cannot completely cross off this goal until the bar is over.

I have 53 days until the bar exam.  I started the road to this point almost 10 years ago.  I have been a student so long I'm not sure I know how not to be.  Today I am working on being the best student I can be to pass the bar.  Today I am working on accepting that my personal wants and needs are over-shadowed by the drive to pass the bar.  Today I will workout to physically better myself for the day the bar is over and I can come back to the world.

Two good quotes for today.  "Life is too short to argue and fight with the past.  Count your blessings, value your loved ones and move on with your head held high" - posted by my favorite English teacher and thespian Mr Rinaldi.

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" - Marilyn Monroe

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